Activate Fear, Activate Progress

I have to say, the concept of fear is an interesting, diverse little bird. As I've started working through this topic and speaking with close friends and family I've come to realize that FEAR has a different meaning for all of them. The fears they have expressed in regards to what has kept them from taking certain opportunities or moving onto new possibilities, has differed with each individual.

What I've found is that I have a lot of chicken-shit friends! HA! Obviously kidding, but seriously, some of you need to put your big kid pants on! I love all of you.

That said, I am also someone that runs around scared just as much as the next person; maybe even more! As Chandler Bing said, "I have TOO much fear...." So, the bottom-line is that we ALL have things that hold us back, that we look at and think, "Man, I'd really love to get my butt of this couch and go do that...." I love the IDEA of going skydiving, I love the idea of doing stand-up comedy, I love the idea of having six pack abs but DAMN tacos are so stinking good.... And so on and so forth we go. WE love the idea of something, but don't have the drive to go and do it, try it or even test it out. But that's an IDEA, not a passion and that's not what I'm talking about when I'm looking at FEAR that halts our action.

Let me make it a bit more clear - I LOVE the idea of doing stand-up comedy. LOVE it. But let me make it very clear; I AM TERRIFIED TO DO IT! It is one thing to be standing with a group of friends or family and crack off a patented "dad joke". It is an entirely different beast to stand up in front of strangers and be "funny".

So the idea of stand-up is something I am big on; the Bill Burrs, Kevin Harts, George Carlon, Robin Williams....Those guys are immortals. They are from another planet in my eyes. However, the idea of stand-up is what gets me; I in no way, shape or form want to proceed a "career" in stand-up. I just don't. I don't want to put the work in, I don't want to deal with that kind of rejection and I don't want to put myself out there as those I've mentioned were so willing to do. While I might be afraid of it, that fear is not something that takes away from the overall arc of my life goals and dreams. In a sense, it is the ability to compartmentalize an idea and recognize that over what is actually a PASSION.

Identifying that passion that drive is step one. I think most of us are able to decipher this concept and can think of one thing that they would really LOVE to be doing rather than what they ARE doing. So how do we take that fear and turn it into action?

Remember I mentioned those conversations? I realized through those that there are about three main stays when it comes to a Fear to Action ratio; 1. Self Realizations, 2. Practical Manifestations, 3. Circumstance.

Self Realization

For me, this moment came when I realized that I was tired of working for someone else. I was sick of waiting for vacation time to build up, sick of punching in and out on someone else's time card. To hell with that. I realized that I wanted to take my world, my life and that of my two boys into my own hands and become completely self-reliant. Self sovereignty, if you will. So what was the realization?

I have always loved writing and if you know me at all, you know that I don't shut the hell up! I have stories, a lot of them. BUT and that's a big ole but, I have always been afraid to put myself out there. I was always afraid that, because no one really knew this side of my life, it would be taken seriously. So I said, forget it, I'm going for it. I'm putting myself out there and I'm not going to be concerned with what the nay-sayers might project on to all of this and man up.

This might not be taken seriously, but I couldn't care less! HA! Because I know that, so many of you, have reached out and stated your feelings to what you've read. This is not a statement of brash arrogance, but instead one of self-realization that my heart is in the right place and it has helped alleviate that initial fear.

That is an important piece to the "self realization" of your passion being one that is worthy of a "right action". To expound upon that, there is "wrong action." What is the intent of your passion? Are you in it because your end goal is to be famous? Is it to be rich? Is it to puff those peacock feathers of yours to find status? I dare say to each their own, but these motivations will, inevitably, put you in my "douche-bag" bin. Don't get me wrong, building a fortune for my family is not something I'm running away from - that motivation is there for me. The difference is the mechanism or the road taken to get to that end goal. A drug dealer can make a hell of a lot of money, but at the end of the day they're still a drug dealer - wrong action.

On the converse side - doctors make a fantastic living whilst providing a better quality of life for others and also saving the lives of others. This is civic duty paid and, thus, their bank account is paid. Money is not the root of all evil, not what I'm saying here, but identifying your goals for your passion doesn't need to be hampered with the confusion of doing it and earning wealth from it. Do NOT get caught up in that bull shhhh motto of, "Once you are doing what you're passionate about, you'll never work another day in your life.." or that one would, "do it for free...." That is absolute and total rubbish. If your passion can pay you, GO FOR IT!

After this realization of our goal and/or dream and where it is rooted, we can better navigate the first step into making it happen and push the fear of doing so into the machine of action.

Practical Manifestations

The meat to our potatoes of fear typically comes through our own manifestations. We've identified what we would like to do or what we would like to be, but as soon as we do here comes those practical excuses that become manifestations of why we CAN'T.

"I can't focus on the gym because I have a job, two kids and I'd have to be up a whole HOUR earlier to make it happen..." As SOON as we identify a want it's ironic how quickly the reasons for not doing so comes up. Be honest with yourself, really think about the last thing you wanted to try and the speed at which your brain went into excuse mode! It's baffling! We are so good about talking ourselves out of taking risks that could and probably would elevate our lives in ways that we can't even imagine. I don't just mean some big, life altering event. It could be as simple as waking up earlier to have 30 minutes of meditation, prayer or the opportunity to read.

This small shift in our daily routine is a building block to overcoming our bigger fears, but the way we manifest our actions through our self-speak is always the first stopper before we even start.

Too often I hear this, "Justin, I'd really like to do this, but I would need this because without that piece of equipment, or that space, it just wouldn't work...." The action doesn't even begin because we've stopped at the first perceived obstacle we come up against.

This concept has to shift to speaking your want into reality, speaking it into action. Talk to yourself! Speak to yourself OUT LOUD! Who cares if you sound crazy to your spouse or your children or your friends - they aren't going to pay for your happiness and you probably don't, really, like them that much anyway - so let it go!!

Make those practical manifestations positive ones for positive actions. I know it sounds corny and cliche, but it mf'ing works (I had to put mf because my mom reads this and doesn't like when I use swear words...) Don't tell yourself why you CAN'T do something and start figuring out how you can! I want to podcast, BUT I don't have the $400 mic, the mixer, the editing equipment, the right lighting, a pretty enough face, etc. Bullshit!! I have a mini computer in my pocket that has the microphone, the camera, the editing equipment and all the tools one needs to put out something as simple as a podcast.

So what's stopping me?

Circumstance

One of the biggest copouts is that of our fear being disguised as circumstance. Where we are at in our lives, currently, is what's holding us back from being able to be where we want to be in our lives down the road. It's our circumstance that is holding us down and we are the unfortunate victims of our own lives. It is the "it is what it is" mentality.

That phrase makes me want to throw up.

When we say, "it is what it is..." what we are really saying is that we ACCEPT the circumstance and with that acceptance have become complacent, lazy and weak. It goes back to our self-realization - I know I want to podcast, but I don't have the shiny, pretty equipment that one needs to do it.

If we want to change, if we want to reach these goals we have identified and are attempting to speak into action, then there is ZERO acceptance of our current circumstance because this current circumstance is what is driving those goals and dreams in the first damn place! So there can be no acceptance.

But, no goal is met without resistance, without doubt, without a push-back. Perhaps the circumstance could be that you do have to work two jobs to make ends meet for your family as a single parent? Perhaps the circumstance is that you want a change of scenery but are held back by your current position at your company? Perhaps your goal is one that would require time away from your family and your friends?

These are all circumstantial situations that could hinder that thing you really want to do and what you want to achieve. So what do we do? Is it...... what it is?

From my own experience, you do what you have to do to make it happen. If you want it, go get it. Sack up and go after it. IF you have to leave your family and friends (I've done this), then figure out how to do so, come to terms with the time away and what the overall goal and outcome will be and get it. Measure and remeasure and strive to make it happen.

These "perhaps" are all living in the family of practical fears and excuses - that is all that they are, period. If you've identified where you want to be and want to go then you will no longer make the excuses and asking the "what-ifs" and that will turn into the actions necessary to make it a reality.

Worrying about your position within your company, the hours of sleep you would lose because you're working the two jobs while striving to your goal, or the time away you would have to endure from family; will never get you out of the current circumstance, but instead cement you right where you are deeper each day that goes by with in-action.

So, your goal, our goal is to identify these positive wants/changes, speak that shit into action and to change our overall circumstance through movement. This movement squelches the fear and churns it into a burning motivation for success.

J.L. Copeland