All Apologies

I'm not apologetic. I'm not apologetic for my mistakes. Why would I be? I will not apologize for the errors or shortcomings in my life. These are instances of definition that have chiseled my character. They do, in fact, define me; so why would I apologize? Conversely, apathy does exist if and when growth is not achieved from these missteps.

The perception breeds the need for apologetic emotion as much as the action itself. A well calculated risk that falls short of the mark doesn't deserve an apology, it deserves reflection and recalculation. If you cheat on your spouse, not only is an apology necessary but so is a fundamental ass-whooping. But that isn't the realm at which this post is living.

There are two outcomes in this scenario: 1. Winning, 2. Learning.

I see no need for a gray area; albeit an argument could be feasible in this regard. So apathy only exists when I do NOT learn from my mistakes and continue them. Bluntly put, apologetic's do not interest me. Remove the religious connotation typically associated with that title and make it secular. I'm not referring to the Christian Apologists.

For apologists or apologetic's live with the weight of the past on their shoulders - this has to be specifically daunting. Crushing. This burden of consistently living life in a reverse state, defending or bemoaning shadows of actions that drift into the present must rain laboriously upon their spirit. For me, this is the equivalence of driving my car and constantly/consistently utilizing my rear view mirror; the gleaming ignorance in this effort is one of not deriving understanding from why there are so many issues moving forward. Why we continuously crash into "unforeseeable" obstacles?

Conceptually, this is dangerously asinine. The basic synopsis of this train of thought is thus; if we live in the past long enough, it will surely and resoundingly become our present. This simple thought TERRIFIES me.

Let's make this abundantly clear - the motive behind this blog post is NOT to suggest that, we as individuals, don't have to apologize for wrong doings. We. Absolutely. Do! Wrong is wrong; ideally, we each have a moral foundation that can identify the difference between right and wrong, selfishness and greed, ego and arrogance, etc.

The emphasis is not living within your past mistakes! Not being apologetic for an unforeseen amount of time, never forgiving yourself for the mistakes, missteps, errors in judgment along your journey. Acceptance of these failures, personal or professional, is the first step to growth from those mistakes. You must identify them, you must embrace them and then accept that it is now apart of the makeup that will, inevitably, solidify your character one way or the other.

That determination rests solely upon your shoulders; do you learn from that failure, add it to your tool built for success and forge ahead? Or, do you lay down and wallow in self-pity and wrap yourself up in the stench of regret?

This is where, exactly and acutely, there is zero room for gray area, for me. You're either moving forward or your standing still, palms raised, playing the victim of your own failing. It's a drama to which the theater of our lives know all too well. STOP BEING APOLOGETIC! Own it and move on!

The only person that can hold these instances from your vapor of time over your head is YOU. Not your mom, not your bestie, not a sibling. YOU. So why?

This riddle is simple - forgive yourself and stop waiting for the approval of those around you. Forgiveness of ones self is part of the blueprint for ones ultimate happiness and, therefore, success. Don't be your own personal punching bag, that's not self-reflection that is self-destruction. Perhaps the struggle is in instances of parenting - and there is a multitude of things that you're being eaten up inside about in how you've managed your family? Forgive and learn. Adjust your perspective and focus on action to the positive outcome. See it. Speak it. Live it.

"Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on...." - Les Brown

As I stated in the beginning - I am not apologetic. I have accepted, learned from and, therefore, grown with the mistakes of my past. I enjoy those failures, now, because I have come to terms with them and shifted how I perceive them. I will not be my yesterday, I will not be the perception of those around me. I am right here, right now, striving to be the best I can for tomorrow. For myself, first, my kids and my future spouse because all of them, not only do they deserve that, but should EXPECT that of me.

I will never be sorry for this mindset and the inevitable outcome it will produce. Question is, can you say the same?

J.L. Copeland