Motivation through Pain - Part 1

I think about this topic a lot - I'm actually fascinated by the entire concept of "motivation". I'm one of those people that when I watch a biography or a movie about a real person; I spend hours researching that human. What were they really like? How much was left out of the story? But, more importantly, I want to try and understand how that individual was able to accomplish what they did. There's so many things that make up a person that has the ability to throw all aside and give all for a passion, an obsession, a dream and it boarders insanity in so many different ways. Their psyche is hardwired in a way that is just different than those of us that drift through life. But its as much of a choice as it is some preordained gift they possess. Their motivation is unwavering, they make a choice to allow almost any and everything to fuel their drive.

That..... that last sentence is the difference between us and them. EVERYTHING in their world is a source of fuel for the passion and path to their goal. My interpretation of this for us majority is that we only find that motivation when there is some kind of pain attached to it; a loss of a family member, a job, a break up and even failure. It's the pain that we feel that conjures that desire to make a change in our every day. But again, that is the difference between those that are great and those that are only great in their minds. I ask, which one are you? Finding the desire and drive to achieve anything, insert your own, has no rule book. We dive into all of these self helps and motivational speeches and videos to push us past that line of change and wishful stagnancy. I'm not trying to suggest that those things are wrong; I myself draw from those things as well. Those are concepts I have utilized as I've started writing this blog and the plans that I have moving forward, from this blog, to the other avenues I will utilize to reach my own goals.

But immediate "pain" isn't the only conduit to change; it can be the pain of what was, the pain of not wanting to go back to a certain time in your life when nothing seemed to work, it can be that fear of waking up one day and realizing you watched your life pass by without ever stepping a foot into the arena of your dreams and ambitions. This concept of wasting my time here is one of my biggest factors that drive me now. I have set back for 39 years now, looking in retro at accomplishments that, sure, I'm proud of, but so many more that I am not. So much of that is in the realm of that pain that I didn't. I made excuses for why I didn't do something, didn't start that book, didn't take that trip, didn't save that money here and there, etc. That pain is something I feel every time I look at my two boys and think, "what am I leaving you?" It's not about legacy in that regard, let me be clear on that, no, it's about what man am I that is showing my two sons the kind of men they can strive to be? That is a pain that makes me sit down and write this and open up about that same fear/pain, which now manifests itself in a motivation that is undeniable.

My fear is that too often we sit back and get comfortable because, maybe, we have "enough" money in the bank account, our kids are doing well in school, our love life is in a good status... So we get comfortable. Not that we shouldn't appreciate these moments, but they are moments; so in that what self check are we doing in that realm that prepares us for when things go wrong? Because, inevitably, things will, in fact, go wrong. This is not some pessimistic view of the world, it's real, you don't have to have a masters degree in psychology or human behavior to know this as cold fact. It is cold fact, unfortunately. The thing that has kept me up at night, when things are going so well, is what am I doing that makes me ready for when that moment comes? Am I giving myself to everyday, to every moment and controlling what I can control and not waiting for pain to strike before I take some kind of action?

I challenge you to take action and avoid, as much as humanly possible, reaction to an unforeseen action. Don't allow the moment to pass before you realize you've missed something. Rise up and utilize the rear view in that positive manner I spoke of in my last post - use it to draw from for your future you, your future children, your future relationship. That past can be enough motivation to push through, driving an unequivocal desire to never experience that "thing" again... It can be as simple as deciding that you never want to be "that" person again. Let yourself go and stop wasting energy in the wrong areas; take a hold of what you can and make that yours. Hold it and don't let anyone or anything take that away from you. Because, ultimately, that pain of change far outweighs the pain of regret.

J.L. Copeland