Motivation Through Pain - Part 2

After writing Motivation Through Pain - Part 1, last night, something stuck with me that I couldn't shake. I didn't realize it until this morning. When I finished last night I looked at the post over and over. Rereading and rereading again. Made a few updates but then put it out.

The responses I received were PHENOMENAL. The insight that those of you share from what you read and your own experience, your own insight were absolutely amazing. But, the post didn't sit well with me; not that I didn't feel I had said what I wanted to say, but because I feel that there is SO MUCH MORE to give here.

I had a great conversation with a close friend about the dichotomy of pleasure and pain. The fear of pain versus the joy of pleasure and how these two, completely different emotional experiences and expressions in a circular universe ultimately come back around and are infinitely intertwined.

Motivation, as I touched on in the Part 1, is not something that is born just through pain alone. A teacher told me that their motivation doesn't come from the fear of pain, but rather the understanding of WHY they are a teacher. That motivation is the knowledge and the desire to be an impact on those students and their futures. HOW can they impact those young minds to be the biggest and greatest versions of themselves? That is their motivation, that is their drive and why they rise each and every morning - this is something done absent the fear of pain.

This motivation comes from understanding one's God Given talents and allowing those gifts to flow through them. This understanding provides that joy and eliminates that opportunity for the ultimate pain - NOT REACHING FULL POTENTIAL. This part can breed itself in fear, but it is snuffed out through the motivation of ones potential and expressing said strengths.

The dichotomy of motivation through pain is the motivation through strength.

I had a great conversation with my father - he was, as the norm, providing me insight in a manner that only he can do. It's a master skill that he has developed over time with a son that tends to learn slow and a head thick enough to stop an atomic blast. We were discussing motivation through pain (he's read my blog - woot woot - and sorry dad for the previous use of swear words! I'll clean it up.), in this he provided an interesting perspective through target archery.

The repeatable skill, he stated, is in the mind shift of one reviewing the last shot (rear viewing) and adjusting the concept of "self talk". Self talk is bigger in our worlds than we realize or give it credit for, because it can seem SO small!

That shift goes from, "I didn't do this....", "I did this wrong here...", "I CAN'T do that..." Self talk... The change, the switch has to be, "I need to make sure...", "I can get it this time...." This practice, they say, can literally make a chemical change in our brains after 21 days of practicing it regularly. Daily. With an intent. With a purpose.

Side bar - each day I ask my boys to tell me three things, three memories that make them happy or that is funny; something that makes them feel good. One, that practice adjusts their attitude to see their worlds in a far more positive light. It is exercising their brain to make a chemical change and disciplining them to appreciate the good in their lives. Two, I get to hear memories, I get to share with them an aspect of them that has become solely theirs that they are now sharing - so we get to bond in that way. They are giving to me and I get to share in that with them. But it is a form of positive self talk.....

Back on track....

The flip side is that negative self talk - this can come from a place of insecurity, it can come from a place of pain. A past failure, a past mistake, but that shift to that positive inner voice goes back to the teacher - what are your strengths? Are you using that potential to keep you moving forward when you miss, when you fall? You will fall, you absolutely WILL fall... But what makes you stand back up? What makes you move forward? That inner strength, that inner gift, that inner confidence and joy that you feel for that "thing" that you know defines you. Can that be what keeps you going towards a target you've set your site on? In that, are you changing your self talk from "CAN'T" to "CAN".

This feeling, this mindset can almost feel delusional. That will, that motivation can feel like you're dreaming, like you're crazy, like it could never be a reality. The distinguishable quality between those that do and those that do not - THEY. DON'T. CARE.

WE care too much, the fear, the pain, of what those around us will say, what those around us will think of what it is we are diving in to. What we are passionate about doing. SHIFT THE FOCUS. THEY don't pay your bills, THEY don't look your kids in their eyes and tell them 'no' to the new shoes, or that trip you've been talking about for years, THEY have NOTHING to do with you. They're too worried about them to worry about YOU! Let that pain go. Let that fear go. Replacing this mindset with that motivation of your tomorrow looking nothing like your today can move us in tremendous ways. Doesn't have to be huge, doesn't have to be immediate. It can be the courage to take that first step.

A professor once told me his mother was so proud of him when he finished college. He was the first in the family. He got a business degree and was looking at big companies. So when he called her one day to tell her the good news about the big new job he got, he said her tone was far from over joyed. Sure she was happy, but the enthusiasm was seriously lacking for his liking. He asked her what was wrong? She spoke on his job and that she was proud but asked why he was wasting his time because that wasn't his calling.

After a long conversation, my professor told her everything he wanted, what he dreamt of doing with his life. But ultimately, he didn't know how. He wasn't sure that he could. He said his mothers advice was simple, "Take the first step, Rick..."

"Take the first step" - this can be and is bigger than what most do their with the entirety of their lives.

Find your motivation - let pain motivate you. Let fear motivate you. Let joy motivate you. Let your talents motivate you. But find it in whatever it is that you're going to put yourself in to.

Remember - "if you live each day like it is your last, eventually, you most certainly will be right..."

J.L. Copeland