The Sneaky Line Between Health and Happiness

"Do what makes you happy..." I'm a person that dislikes so many phrases, I've noted this on numerous blogs and podcasts. I probably enjoy semantics too much or, perhaps, I have a tendency to be a "half glass empty" kind of guy. However, I stand firm in my position that some of our most common phrases/sayings are dangerous at worst, misleading at best. Either way, we are a society that loves cliches, loves the romance of "The American Dream" and the byproduct of this affair, sayings that encourage us to dream big. We fill our heads with gusto and visions of grandeur and believe we can conquer all. I am one of those people. I have always been a dreamer. I have always wanted to see, touch, smell, taste everything this world has to offer and do it several times over. There's nothing wrong in our pursuit of greatness, there's nothing wrong with dreaming larger than life dreams - this, after-all, is what makes unknown names known. This is what builds a society around us that is better than it was before.

So why start off with the phrase, "Do what makes you happy.."? Great question. When I was younger, a young teen to be a little more specific, my friends and I got really into two shows: CKY and Jackass. If you're unfamiliar, the premise and entire point was for the "actors" involved to attempt outlandish stunts that, nine out of ten times ended with the participant hurting themselves. Things like riding shopping buggies into curbs being pulled by a car, shooting each other with paint ball guns from close range, eating something disgusting - most of you are familiar, so I don't need to go further. Needless to say, we wanted to imitate and practice this "art" and we did. A LOT. I jumped out of moving cars, from rooftops, crafted our own zip-lines that never worked, along with a slew of other idiotic stunts that caused bodily harm. Now that I'm much older and mostly wiser I look back at these times and think, "that didn't make sense God gave a mule...", but back then, it made me HAPPY! We were simply doing what brought us joy even if it was the furthest thing from HEALTHY.

See, it's a funny little line between something that makes us happy and whether or not it's healthy. What makes us happy really depends on the station we are in, in our lives from the physical, spiritual and mental. Dorlands Medical Dictionary states true health as "A state of optimal physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease."

In the lowest of times, I have utilized drinking as a way to numb hurt, because for just a whisper of time, I felt free, I felt happy. So many of us mask in this manner because it numbs the insecurities, the stress, the pressures of what we are feeling or experiencing and, for a brief, blurry window, allows us to feel invincible again. But, did it make me "happy". Most importantly, is it HEALTHY? In that context, we can all agree it's the furthest thing from a content and fulfilled existence. In fact, it's destructive, dangerously destructive. Conversely, moments where a large decision needed to be made that would, ultimately, be the HEALTHIEST (I feel these two words will be capitalized a lot in this passage) for my life and the boys did NOT make me happy, not immediately, not directly in that moment of choice. Why? It was hard, it was scary, the looming decision was filled with uncertainty and unknowns that couldn't become knowns until we were walking smack-dab in to it.

As I've grown, as I've journeyed through my own path of self understanding, the importance of health in the essence of Dorlands example is of utmost importance. The three can not be separated. You can not have 1 without the other 2. Not fully. Not without pitfalls. But the most crucial piece missing from Dorlands description is this.... Spiritual abundance. John 14:27 says, "Peace is what I leave with you; it is my own peace that I give you. I do not give it as the world does. Do not be worried and upset; do not be afraid..." When we search to fill the void of spiritual abundance with substance, status, sexual conquests, material possessions we find ourselves on a continuous search that, ultimately, only broadens the emptiness.

When I look at happiness, I've always seen this emotion as fleeting. We KNOW this is fleeting. In previous articles we have discussed the importance of finding true contentment. Finding true contentment is accomplished in grasping pure peace. My walk for peace is with a heart fixated on Christ. When that path is fixated, navigated or led by anything secular; it becomes rocky, lonely, painful. If my heart is guided by my ego, by my pride, by my own selfish wants; EVERYTHING SUFFERS - my boys, my family, my friends, my job and, hell, probably even Tas, my dog. So when I say everything, understand there isn't a fiber of me that doesn't mean EVERYTHING. No amount of money, status, material items, trips, sex, drugs, porn will fill that void. These things will not quench the thirst. They will not fill that void.

Conversely, when we sit, quietly and take in the moments, THIS moment and breathe it in; listen to our children laughing, the sound of the wind as it sways the branches of the world surrounding us, press in to a meaningful conversation with a loved one or take a walk just to connect with the nature that is happening all around us - it's the diet of the soul. In this stillness we can then truly start to hear God around us. We can start to feel God around us. We can block out all of the chaos, the hurt, the confusion, the stress, the expectations and speak openly to God. This is where building our TRUE health starts to form.

This is a peace I've been trying to find my entire life. This is THE health I've been missing my entire life. Amongst all of the storms, the pitfalls, the downfalls, the chaos, I could not find that rest.

But as I begin to understand that happiness does not mean I am healthy and that, at times, being healthy does not always mean being happy, the closer that peace has come. The clearer the path has become.

So no pictures on this post. No antidotes. Just raw openness on a topic thats become very important in my life.

J.L. Copeland